So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
