at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
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