and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
