Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
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