Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
Randomize
