I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
