I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Got drunk and tried to deep fry burritos. Turns out wild turkey isn't a good replacement for vegetable oil. Nearly burned my house down.
Sober people should be as daring as drunk people more often, because honestly the fact you’ve lived so long is a sign that anything is possible.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
Randomize
