whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
You pole danced in your parka.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
Randomize
