glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
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