Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
Randomize
