Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
I cut my penus on the lid.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Randomize
