yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
Randomize
