I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
she peed on how many people?
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
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