I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
When did angry sex become our thing?
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
