Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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