I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
Randomize
