he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
no. you can't hotbox the world.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
Randomize