all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
Randomize
