You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
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