I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
