he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
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