I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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