it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
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