You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
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