the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
Pants 0. Shit 1.
I checked into jail on foursquare
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
