Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
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