D3 body, D1 cock
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
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