Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
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