Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
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