i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
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