My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
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