Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
Randomize
