Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Randomize
