Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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