I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
