it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
i think i scared a bird with my dick
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
Randomize
