You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
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