I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
how does that bad decision feel?
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
Randomize
