in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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