3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
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