No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
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