Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
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