lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
Randomize
