i would punch a child for taco bell
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
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