Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
Randomize
