so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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