i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
I want to be your penis for a week.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
