omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
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