UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
