I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
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