At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
