There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
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