We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
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