I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
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