That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
Randomize
