i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
operation have a gay friend backfired
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
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