is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
