so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
You brought string cheese to the strip club
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
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